Tuesday, 2 April 2013

That never get sick of you kind of love...

Its so easy to fall inlove
But its not easy to keep it together
I wonder how people who have been together for 50 years do it
How do they do it?
The old couple down the street
They represent the impossible you might say
The" never get sick of you" kind of love
How do you do it sir?
How do you do it miss?
Do you just say yes a lot?
Can I have that?
The never get sick of you kind of love

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

The alternative reality

In my mind I dream of unknown places. See, I dream alot. I dream of fresh flowers, beautiful sunsets, very cold winters, a place far from here... Part of me is stuck in an alternate reality, in a fairytale book or a sweet song, where no one gets hurt, and everything is perfect and gets resolved. I'm in love with the idea of love. It didn't take a boy, or an unforgettable kiss to make me realize this, it took long conversations (mostly over some wine sessions)... with very good friends.

 To me love is much more than loving an individual, or even loving yourself. It's about loving life, loving this earth that we inhabit, loving the spirit that fills our soul (whatever that may be), and loving being alive. The most frustrating thing about love is that no one can give you that love of life, not any self help books, or therapists, or even religious figures. (...though they may help.) It's something you find within yourself. I finally realized that a while, I was afraid of living I was just existing.

 I want to LIVE. Not just experience the joys of life, but the pain too. I want to LOVE. Not just have a perfect relationship, but have flaws too. I WANT to be hurt, I want to be a complete mess (just like I was yesterday), I want to live in a foreign city where I know no one, and they don't know me. Because anything is better than feeling nothing. Nothing is lonely, nothing is cold. Nothing is giving up. I vow to live and to love from this day forward. To love myself, to love life, and the earth we inhabit, to love the spirit that fills my soul, and to love being alive. 

This is in Mozambique, Vamizi Island! Sun sets above the ocean...the earth is too amazing, too beautiful! Photo by Erwan 

"Its a brand new day, a brand new life and Im feeling good"-Nina Simone

"she said she usually cried at least once each day... not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful and life was so short" 
-Unknown-



Tuesday, 1 May 2012

I wonder




Sometimes I think I act like some kind of pseudo-psychologist. Deep down...I know I'm insecure, and I'm naive, and I think most times I give it all away up front.


Sometimes I feel stupid (mostly cause I wear my heart on my sleeve)...but I don't feel stupid around you. I don't feel like the girl in the "before" picture. I know you don't kiss all the girls like that, or maybe you do. maybe I don't give a shit either way (yeah I'm trying to say this with conviction but the stupid little heart on my sleeve is giving me away) I know when you dream, you dream of yourself but better, and not an asshole.

I wonder if you walk around naked on the beach laughing and so free with all the girls, I wonder if you skinny dive with all the girls, I wonder if you make love on the beach with all the girls! I wonder if they all know how wonderful you really are!

I wonder if Im special, but for the first time in my life not because my daddy ran away and boys wouldn't look at me that way and I never got asked to dance and I never had an ipod and I''m shy and didn't wear thong underwear and I was always embarrassed or hurt or worried and I need you to tell me that I'm pretty and funny and witty and smart and a fantastic dancer even though Im terrible at it and that I "get" you and it's me and you against the world!

I want to know if I'm special so that I can get a good nights sleep because  as independent and confident as I want to picture myself, I still want to know whether I matter to those I care about. . I want to know because the unknown hurts more than the truth.