Sometimes I think I act like some kind of pseudo-psychologist. Deep down...I know I'm insecure, and I'm naive, and I think most times I give it all away up front.
Sometimes I feel stupid (mostly cause I wear my heart on my sleeve)...but I don't feel stupid around you. I don't feel like the girl in the "before" picture. I know you don't kiss all the girls like that, or maybe you do. maybe I don't give a shit either way (yeah I'm trying to say this with conviction but the stupid little heart on my sleeve is giving me away) I know when you dream, you dream of yourself but better, and not an asshole.
I wonder if you walk around naked on the beach laughing and so free with all the girls, I wonder if you skinny dive with all the girls, I wonder if you make love on the beach with all the girls! I wonder if they all know how wonderful you really are!
I wonder if Im special, but for the first time in my life not because my daddy ran away and boys wouldn't look at me that way and I never got asked to dance and I never had an ipod and I''m shy and didn't wear thong underwear and I was always embarrassed or hurt or worried and I need you to tell me that I'm pretty and funny and witty and smart and a fantastic dancer even though Im terrible at it and that I "get" you and it's me and you against the world!
I want to know if I'm special so that I can get a good nights sleep because as independent and confident as I want to picture myself, I still want to know whether I matter to those I care about. . I want to know because the unknown hurts more than the truth.
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